Yesterday at work I was alone in the office for a while. Lynne and Sean were out for the day and David had left for lunch with Russell. I was busily toiling away when I began to sense -- a presence. A malevolent, horrible presence.
It's a small office and I was the only person in there, so I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't shake it. The strange feeling went on for several minutes until I had to get up from behind my computer to get something out of the printer. It was then that I saw it.
It was a bug. A pretty big bug. And it was headed straight for me. There was really only one thing to do.
I called David.
You'd think that all these years of living by myself would equip me for these sorts of things, but nope. I just hate bugs in a way that paralyzes me. Hate hate hate. It's completely irrational and the bigger they are, the worse it is, with the exception of swarming ants, which completely skeeve me out for reasons I can't quite understand.
I blame this on having grown up in the Gulf Coast, where bugs the size of kittens were the norm and people and their exterminators were on a first-name basis. I am not kidding when I say I saw two-inch-long cockroaches on a daily basis when I lived there, and that's just not right. I think something in me just snapped, and bug-wise, I'm done.
Anyway, back to yesterday's bug. He basically had me pinned in a corner of the office. He was waving his little antennae at me while I clutched the phone receiver and asked David how long he thought he'd be at lunch.
David wisely suggested I see if the office building maintenance guy might help me out, which hadn't even occurred to me. Because apparently I don't care if David thinks I'm crazy, but I do care if total strangers think I am. In the end the custodian was very nice, saved me from the bug (which was a cricket, as it turned out) (but a very BIG cricket), and then told me all about how crickets come out in August and if I ever needed to be saved from another bug just to call him and it would be no problem.
I must have looked really terrified. Of a cricket.